


The Loaded Key: Anger Management

by Decker



Series: Loaded Key Vignettes. [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Gen, Pale Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decker/pseuds/Decker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sergeant Equius Zahhak is an angry troll, and when the anger starts hurting those around him, he turns to desperate measures to keep his temper in check. It's a dark secret for the upstanding troll to have. It could save him. If he's not careful, it could end him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loaded Key: Anger Management

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the same AU as my previous fic, The Loaded Key, but not at the same time. It takes place some several months before the start of The Loaded Key.

It had started out easily enough. Nepeta had been visiting a run-down speakeasy under someone's house on the edge of the city. Equius and a dozen other officers, both human and troll, arrived and stomped the door down before anyone inside could hide the liquor. Ten people, mostly humans, were rounded up, though five others had fled into the night. Nepeta was among the ones arrested, for the show of things. She stood next to a human officer, with an angry look on her face and handcuffs on her wrists. One of the humans, who was standing over to the side with his hands cuffed behind his back. He was red-faced and swaying.

“You're under arrest for possession of alcohol with the intent to sell,” Equius told him, “Come with me.”

“I ain't going anywhere with you, Roach!” The man yelled back at him.

Everyone went quiet and Equius narrowed his eyes, “What did you call me?”

“You heard me, Roach!” He said, full of liquid courage, “I ain't gonna' be pushed around by a giant bug!”

Equius was stone faced for a moment. Nepeta tensed up, watching Equius carefully. She felt her throat tighten as Equius growled and grabbed the man's shirt with both hands, lifting him off of his feet.

“You do not call me that, Cherry.” Equius said, through clenched teeth. Equius shook the man violently, whipping his head around. That was when Nepeta stepped in.

“Seargent! Stop it!” She yelled.

Equius stopped and looked at her, rage still in his eyes. The man in his hands was limp. “I will not be talked to like that by a cherry-blooded human!” He yelled. The man in his grip moaned pitifully.

“He's already going to jail. Just let it go.” Nepeta pleaded.

“He has no right to-”

“Sergeant, please.” Nepeta said quietly, voice cracking slightly. Equius searched her expression carefully and she looked back at him, sad and nervous. Equius put the human back on his feet, where he wobbled slightly but managed to stand. He was dizzy and sore, but uninjured for the most part.

“This “roach” might have just saved your life, human. Now, you're going back to the station.” He looked at the rest of the police squad, trying to ignore the dirty looks he was getting from the human officers, “Round the rest of them up and destroy the still. Pour out the liquor. You,” He pointed to Nepeta, who feigned fear, “You're coming with me.”

“Oh, come on, Sergeant. I was just trying to-”

“Quiet. You're under arrest. Get in the car,” Equius said darkly. Though he sounded threatening, this part of the arrest was mostly rehearsed and they both knew it. Nepeta sighed and let herself be lead out to a police car outside, while Equius helped round up the actual criminals into vans.

*

As soon as they were on the road, Nepeta leaned forward.

“What's your problem, Equius? You almost killed that guy.”

“I will not be disrespected like that.”

“Disrespect doesn't give you the right to do what you did.” Nepeta said shortly.

“You heard what he called me.”

“Yeah, and I heard what you called him too, so you're even. I thought you were better than that, Equius!”

“I am a highblood and an officer of the law!”

“Then act like it! Don't act like a thug in a uniform!”

Equius turned his head and started to yell, “I am not a-” but he stopped. Nepeta had slumped back against the back seat, still bound hands resting on her lap. The expression on her face was bitter and weary, and it was so out of place on the normally chipper young troll that it stopped Equius dead.

Nepeta looked at him with those tired eyes and shook her head.

“It's hard, Equius. It's hard being your Moirail sometimes. I just don't know if I can keep...” She trailed off.

Equius turned back to look at the road.

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

*

Protocol was that Nepeta was to sit in the holding cells for about an hour or so before her “bail” was posted. In the meantime, Equius made his way to his office. Though the station was crowded, people made an effort not to be in the Sergeant's way. Equius gritted his teeth, tense enough to make the veins show through his skin. When he got to his office, the windows rattled as the door slammed shut. It was about twenty minutes later when there was a hesitant knock on his door.

“What?” Equius growled. It was Sollux who poked his head in.

“We got a 'drunk in public' out here.”

“Then process him and throw him in a cell, Captor!” Equius snapped back at him.

“Well, it's Gamzee, and you said that when we get a high blood in to let you take care of it.”

Equius sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Yes, yes. Show him in here. I'll process him.”

Sollux ducked back out of the doorway and a few seconds later, led a wobbly Gamzee into the office. Equius stood up. “Good evening, have a seat please. As you were, Captor.”

“Whatever.” Sollux mumbled. He walked out of the office and closed the door behind him. Gamzee slumped into one of the chairs in front of Equius' desk, with a big, lazy grin on his face.

“Hey there, Sarge!” He said. Equius winced. He could smell the wine on his breath from where he was standing. He sat back down.

“Now then,” Equius said, pulling some papers out of his desk and acting the very image of professionalism, “Has Officer Captor told you what you're being charged with?”

“Public in...intox...pubic...I'm drunk.” Gamzee said after a short pause.

Equius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not the first time he had to deal with Gamzee, and it always amazed him how the mighty have fallen. Between the incident at the arrest, the trouble with Nepeta, and this, Equius was developing a massive headache.

“Yes, my lord. You are drunk. Like most other nights. I have no idea why you continue to...associate with those of such low morals. You, the son of a bishop!”

“Heaven for the weather, hell for the company!” Gamzee said cheerfully. He stopped and looked and Equius' face, and suddenly became serious.

“Hey there, Sarge. What's got you down? You look like someone told you your blood was turning green.”

Equius looked uneasy. “It's nothing. I don't want to trouble you with...”

“No trouble, Sarge! Come on. The confessional is always open at the church of Gamzee.” Gamzee folded his hands in front of him in the image of pious prayer, but the effect was somewhat diminished by the jangling handcuffs on his wrists. Despite this, Equius relented.

“As ashamed as I am to admit it, my...temper seems to be causing me some problems.”

“What kind of problems?”

“It's compromising my manners. My professionalism! It's...hurting my moirail.”

“Aaaah.” Gamzee nodded sagely. “Ephesians 4:26 says 'Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:' ”

“Wise words.” Equius said politely.

“I'll tell you what you need to do, Sarge. You're an angry motherfucker. You got a lot of rage building up in you, and that shit ain't good. Keeping that all bottled up will kill ya in the end. I'll tell you what you need to do.” Gamzee leaned in conspiratorially, and motioned for Equius to do the same, “You need to beat the shit out of some guys.”

Equius blinked. “I was under the impression that this was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do.”

“Well, I don't mean just any old guy off the street. I know a guy, who knows, a guy, whose cousin's boss' grocer runs some underground fights over in the next town.”

“Fighting?”

“Sure man! Most people go for a show and to bet on their favorite. They usually have booze too. But a big guy like you could sign up to go a couple of rounds with the local favorites. Everyone knows what they're getting into, so you don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings, and you can blow off some steam.”

Equius sighed again. He couldn't believe what was being suggested to him. Illegal fighting. With drinking and gambling. “If it's all the same, sir, I'd like to try some other methods first.”

“Well, sure, I mean, you can always join a fucking gym or something. Go a few rounds with the punching bag. Just ain't the same though.”

“Maybe it will be enough. Thank you for your advice.”

“Always happy to help, Sarge! Now let's get them papers filled out. I could use a nap.”

“Very well...”

*

A short time later, Gamzee was led out, just as Nepeta was being led in for “processing.” She gave a wide grin as he saw the lanky troll.

“Hi, Gamzee!”

“Hey, cher!” Gamzee smiled back as he was led to his holding cell.

Nepeta sat down in the chair Gamzee had just vacated and the door was closed behind her.

“Weird coincidence, seeing him here, huh?” Nepeta grinned.

“I disagree. It seems that Lord Makara is here more and more lately. I am starting to think he just wants a place to sleep. Now about earlier...”

“Right! Well, we got nine of them, and I think I found some good leads on-”

“I wanted to say that I'm sorry, Nepeta.” Equius interrupted.

“Oh. Uh...” Nepeta was honestly thrown.

“I have...been letting my temper get the better of me. It is something that is not fair to those I am in command of, and not fair to you.”

“I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem.” Nepeta said sympathetically, but she was still a little confused. Equius was usually full of confidence and righteousness. Hearing him admit an error was odd.

“In any case,” Equius went on, “I will be taking...steps to try and prevent this from happening in the future. Therefore, I will be taking the next couple days off, starting after I have processed you. Please give your report to Officer Captor when you have it filled out.”

“Oh, um, alright then. What are you going to do?”

“I'm going to go get some exercise, to get my mind of off things.”

*

Later that night, Equius rode his motorcycle through the slums in the factory district, deep in the heart of the city. He rode past the clubs and the whores and the roving bands of men and trolls out for a stroll with their sleeves rolled up. He walked into a dusty gym, normally used for training boxers, with a bag slung over his shoulder. The dirty windows didn't let much light through, so the inside was dark and muted. There was a stained boxing ring in the middle of the concrete floor. Equius paid the owner, a large, foul smelling man, for a day pass.

He put his bag down in front of a punching bag and took out two, long strips of cloth. He used these to tightly wrap his hands before standing and facing his target.

He threw a punch, lightly at first, to test the equipment.

He threw another punch, harder this time.

Equius thought back to the events over the day. To the filthy drunk, calling him those lewd names. To Gamzee, who had so much potential as a high-blood, and wasted it with alcohol and an unsavory lifestyle. To himself, being unable to control his emotions.

The rage built up inside him, and he took it out on the punching bag. He hit it furiously and relentlessly, grunting and sweating, until the supports that held up the bag shook. He poured all his anger and hatred into his arms, and kept on hitting until he was too tired to continue. Only then did he stop, breathing heavily and sweat dripping off of his face. He reached into his bag and pulled out a towel. Pressing it against his face.

It wasn't enough. His exhaustion dampened his anger, but he still felt it, like acid in his chest. The ache in his arms and fists wasn't enough to drown it out. He needed more.

He needed more pain.

*

It was near morning when Equius walked back into the station, claiming that he had 'forgotten something' and would be gone again in a few minutes. He got a few looks. Not many people had a chance to see the Sergeant out of uniform.

He walked into his office and made a show of shuffling around his desk and pulling out some papers. He folded up a few and put them in a pocket. Then he ducked back into the holding cells.

Equius found Gamzee's cell. The lanky high-blood was lying on the narrow cot, hands behind his head, but eyes open. As Equius walked over and held the bars, Gamzee turned his head to look at him.

“Tell me about this man you know.” Equius said. Gamzee grinned darkly.

*

“I don't even know if it's something I should be talking about.” Nepeta said with her chin on her hands. She was sitting at brightly lit diner with a cup of tea in front of her. Across the table, Terezi was sitting with her trademark red glasses and her own cup of tea to her lips.

“If you can't trust friends, who can you trust, Nepeta?” Terezi said between sips. She mostly had the teacup up to her face to mask her wide grin, even though it was like a fat man trying to hide behind a lamp post. Terezi loved gossip. Nepeta didn't seem to notice Terezi's expression.

“Equius is getting hard to keep in line.” Nepeta sighed. Terezi's grin shifted to a frown.

“What happened this time?” She asked.

“He almost got into a fight with a human. He threw the 'C' word at him, too.”

“Arg!” Terezi threw her hands up. “Why did they have to use THAT as a slur!”

“Because they're red on the inside, Terezi.” Nepeta said.

“I know, but I LOVE cherries! I mean, the actual fruit.” She grabbed the edge of the table and leaned down to look Nepeta in the eye. “I tried to get a cherry ice cream last week, and you know what they did?”

“What?” Nepeta said, leaning back slightly. Terezi had a habit of ignoring personal space when she got excited.

“They threw me out! Because I was trying to order it from a human.” Terezi said, pouting. "I mean, don't get me wrong. They know what I mean most of the time, but other times you wouldn't believe the looks I get!”

Terezi leaned back and sighed, tapping her fingers against the table. “Anyway, back to the topic at hand. The Sergeant is a … complicated troll...when it comes to authority and inter-species relationships.”

“He's a jerk, Terezi. You can say it.”

“Okay, yes, he's a jerk. Either way, it's going to be hard for him to change how he thinks about other species and people lower on the hemo-spectrum.”

“I just need him to change the way he acts. I don't know. He said he was going to be taking steps to make sure this didn't happen again.”

“Well, there you go then!” Terezi smiled her shark smile. “See if he improves in the next couple weeks or so, and make your decision then.”

Nepeta didn't look too sure.

*

It took Equius two hours to get to where the fighting was supposed to take place. He started out as soon as the sun set, and rode the now empty road on his motorcycle until his face was numb from the wind. It was mostly farmland until he got to the next city, where the scenery quickly turned back into familiar, gray buildings. He kept driving until the scenery changed again, to ash covered factories and warehouses. Upon seeing one large, dark, storage house, he finally stopped. Equius noticed that there were already quite a number of cars here. He walked up to a small worker's entrance and knocked three times. A panel slid back and two eyes looked at him. Human eyes.

“I'm here to see J.D.” Equius said. The panel slid back shut and the door opened. Equius stepped into the darkness. Equius' eyes adjusted easily and he immediately saw several figures standing to one side of the room. At a small table, a dark skinned human sat with a metal box next to him.

“You're a tall glass of water, ain't you? One dollar to watch the fights.” He said. “The bookies will take your bets after you get inside.”

“I'm not here to _watch_ the fights,” Equius grunted.

“Big boy like you? That doesn't surprise me.” His pearly white teeth shone in the darkness. The man stood up and walked up to Equius, looking him up and down. He looked up at Equius' eyes and smiled. “We don't get too many blue-bloods in here. What made a stand-up boy like you decide to come down and get his hands dirty?”

Equius kept his stoic face. “I'm not asking you questions about yourself. I would appreciate the same courtesy.”

The man arched an eyebrow. After a few seconds he shrugged. “Fair enough. Ten dollars to fight. We pick someone at random for you to fight. You beat him and you get his ten dollars and your own back. Trolls fight trolls and humans fight humans. Keep it above the belt. If someone taps out, says 'stop' or stays down for more than ten seconds, fight's over. No dirty shit. We keep things nice and friendly here. You understand all that?”

“Yes.” Equius said simply and handed over two five-dollar bills.

“Good.” The man smiled and folded up the money. He walked back and slid it in a slot on the top of the metal box. “Now, have a name, son?”

“Yes, but I'd rather not use it.”

“Well, I have to call you something.”

Equius thought for a few seconds.

“You may call me...Mustang.”

“Alright, Mustang, you take a seat over there. We'll call you when it's your turn."

*

It was on the third fight that Equius was called out with another troll. As they walked into the arena, Equius paused to look around. In the middle of the cavernous space was a large cage with a dirt floor, empty except for the bloodstains in the dust. Hastily set up benches and chairs surrounded the cage, while figures ran around the crowd and took bets. A troll stood next to the open cage, and motioned Equius through. As soon as Equius walked in, the door closed behind him. Not locked, Equius noticed with some relief.

Equius looked over at his opponent. He was short and squat green blooded troll, with thick arms and stubby horns. He leaned back against his corner of the cage, giving Equius an evil look.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new fighter tonight. Please give a warm welcome for Mustang!” The announcer said, waving his hand at Equius. There was a chorus of boos and hisses from the crowd. Most of the trolls in the crowd were low-bloods. Equius felt the bile start rise in this throat. They had the gall to jeer him! Despite this, he kept a steady gaze on his opponent.

“In the other corner, with seven wins and three losses, Hammer!” The other troll raised his hands at the cheers and applause. Equius gritted his teeth. The cocky troll was really starting to get on his nerves. Equius was reminded of being insulted. Of all the times he was looked down upon by humans and low bloods. He felt the rage start to build inside him. It bubbled up to his throat and made his fingers twitch.

“And now, on with the fight!”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

*

“So, anyway, turns out that he takes her on the beautiful carriage ride through Skaia Park, right when the flowers are in bloom. They stop...”

“Don't care about your stupid romance books, Nepeta” Sollux said distractedly.

“You're no fun at all!” Nepeta threw her hands up. She was currently sitting on the corner of Sollux's desk, while he was filling out paperwork. He was looking forward to getting the rest of it out of the way so he could go on patrol. Sollux badly needed to stretch his legs. Nepeta kicked her hanging feet idly before speaking up again.

“Have you seen Equius yet today?”

“Nope.”

Nepeta sighed. “I'm worried about him.”

“Equius is a big troll. He can take care of himself.”

“But he's so angry all the time! I wish he would cheer up.”

Sollux sighed and dropped his pen.

“Look, Nepeta, I know you’re his Moirail, but the guy is a big, sweaty asshole.”

Nepeta felt her throat tighten. “Sollux, he's...”

“Give me a second. The guy is a bully and a hypocrite. That shit he pulled during that raid is the perfect example.”

“Sollux, that's not what I...”

“If anyone else but that jar-head pulled that kind of shit, they'd be out on their asses! Throwing language around like that.”

“Sollux!”

“Okay, okay, I'm done. Now you can...” Sollux trailed off as he looked at Nepeta. She was staring, glassy-eyed, over Sollux's shoulder. Sollux was suddenly aware of how dead silent the crowded station had become. He felt his stomach drop out as he smelled sweat and gasoline.

“...He's standing right behind me, isn't he?”

“Yes.” Equius said, making Sollux wince. Equius walked over next to Sollux, turned around, folded his arms over his chest, and leaned against the sitting troll's desk.

“Your attention, please!” Equius said to the room at large. The announcement wasn't necessary at all. Everyone was already staring. Sollux felt his face get hot. He wondered how hard it would be to get a new job. Or how long it would take to get to Mexico if he started running now.

Equius continued. “For those of you that didn't hear, Officer Captor has raised some concerns about my conduct relating to humans and... those lower on the hemospectrum than myself in general. He thinks my behavior is… inappropriate. I believe the exact words he used included 'bully' and 'hypocrite'.”

“Oh my God.” Sollux groaned quietly. He wished he could crawl in a hole.

“Officer Captor is correct.” There were murmurs in the crowd. Sollux blinked stupidly as his brain tried to catch up. “My behavior, especially during the arrests three days ago, was inexcusable. Many of you heard me used a crude slur that trolls sometimes use for humans. That kind of behavior is not fair to our human officers, who put themselves in just as much danger as the rest of us to protect the citizens of this city. I have often said that the best way to lead is by example, and therefore, I would like to apologize for my behavior, and I assure you that I will be taking steps to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Any troll or human heard using language like that will be punished. If you have any concerns about my, or any other Officer's behavior, please let me know. Preferably, without commenting on the shape of my head.” There was a round of chuckling in the crowd. “That is all, dismissed.” And Equius got up and walked towards his office.

“...What just happened?” Sollux asked, looking up at Nepeta.

“I'm...not sure.” Nepeta admitted.

Sollux thought for a second. “Am I dead. Did he kill me and I missed it?”

“Not unless you died from embarrassment.”

Another pause.

“Are you sure he didn't kill me?” Sollux asked. Nepeta reached over and pinched Sollux's cheek, hard.

“Ow!”

“Nope! You're fine.” Nepeta grinned as Sollux rubbed his face.

*

A few hours later, Nepeta walked into Equius' office.

“You wanted to see me, Equius?”

“Yes. I have a new assignment for you to get started on.” Equius winced as he reached for the bottom drawer on his desk. Nepeta noticed.

“You okay?”

“Never better, Nepeta.” Equius said brightly.

“That's good. I thought Sollux was going to get fired for...”

“I'll let it go. Sollux does a lot of work around here. He's allowed a slip up or two. As long as he doesn't make a habit of it.” Equius tugged at his collar. Nepeta noticed a blue spot on his skin when he did this.

“That's a nasty bruise. How did you get that?” Nepeta said, pointing at the base of his neck.

“Just me being careless. Nothing to worry about.” Equius pulled a few sheets of paper and envelope out of his desk. He started to thumb through them as he slowly stood up. Equius didn't notice the high pitch squeal that was slowly getting louder until the source of it, Nepeta, latched onto the back of his neck.

“EEEEEEheeheehee! I figured it out! I figured out why you're in a good mood!”

“Nepeta, please let go of my...”

“You got yourself a kismesis! I'm so happy for you.”

“Nepeta, please cease this foolish...”

“Who is it? Is it anyone I know? How come you didn't tell me?”

“Nepeta...”

“Golly, you have bruises everywhere! Did you get lucky on the first date?”

“Nepeta!” Equius started sweating and turned a startling shade of blue. Nepeta took this as her cue to let go of his neck and drop back to her feet.

“Okay, okay. You don't have to tell me the gory details. But who is it?” Nepeta was lightly bouncing up and down on her heels, looking at Equius anxiously. Equius sweated even harder and tugged at his collar. He didn't like the idea of lying to Nepeta, or even deliberately misleading her, but he broke the law and he couldn't risk having his reputation tarnished. He couldn't risk Nepeta thinking less of him for being a violent thug.

“It's...not something I want to bring to work with me, Nepeta. It may not last long. It might have just been the one weekend.” Equius said slowly. It was technically true.

Nepeta drooped. “Awww... Well, I hope it works out for you. You're happier than I've seen you in a long time.”

“Thank you, Nepeta. Now, let's talk about your assignment.”

“Right!” Nepeta smiled. It seemed the good mood was contagious.

*

“A kismesis, you say?” Terezi grinned her shark-toothed grin. They were both sitting in Terezi's office. Terezi was sitting at her desk, and Nepeta was on a couch over to the side. The walls of the office were lined with dark brown wood and the floors with burgundy carpet. Terezi's desk was the same color as the walls, and was covered in scattered papers, folders, and books. More books lined the shelves in the office.

“Yep!” Nepeta smiled, “He said it might not last, but I think it's going to be a thing.”

“It could be!” Terezi said, chewing on a pencil. She went through a lot of pencils this way. “The Sergeant doesn't strike me as a 'hate 'em and leave 'em' kind of guy, anyway. Any idea who it is?”

“He won't tell me.” Nepeta pouted. “I guess he didn't really want to tell anyone about it yet until he was sure about it.”

“Well, I can understand that. I went through that with my ex-matesprit.” Terezi said, frowning. “Told a bunch of people and it fell apart before I knew it. That was embarrassing.”

“Who was that?”

“Just some grump. I don't really want to talk about it.” She sighed.

“Aw. Sorry to hear that.” Nepeta said. She spotted a gold colored picture frame on Terezi's desk.

“Is this your ex-matesprit?” She said as she scooped up the picture and looked at it. The image was of a figure with a pipe in his mouth and a magnifying glass in his hand. “Whoa, he's a human.”

“That's not my ex. That's Sherlock Holmes!”

“Oh! That mystery solving guy?”

“That's like calling the Mona Lisa 'that picture of a girl.' He's the greatest human detective of all time! He could tell you your life story just by looking at you. He's amazing,” Terezi smiled, leaned her chin on her hands and sighed wistfully. Nepeta narrowed her eyes at the picture, and scraped the glass with a fingernail.

“Is this lipstick?” She said, looking at her fingertip

“No! Okay, yes.” She grinned impishly. “Someday I will go to Baker Street and let him sweep me off my feet with pure, manly, deduction.”

Terezi stood up ramrod straight and held a pretend pipe in front of her face. When she spoke, she pitched her voice lower. “Why, Miss Pyrope, at first glance, I can tell that you're a lawyer who favors her left hand because of the smudges of ink on the side of your small finger. I have also deduced that you are a charming and intelligent young lady.”

Terezi then turned to face the other direction and put the back of her hand to her forehead in a mock swoon. Her voice returned to normal: “Why, Mr. Holmes, you're correct on every account, as always! Oh my, I seem to have come down with a case of the vapors. Catch me.” And she flopped on the couch next to Nepeta.

Nepeta giggled. “You know he's not real, right?”

“A minor setback! Besides, neither were Romeo and Juliette."

“You take that back!”

*

Over the next few weeks, Nepeta was rarely seen at the station anymore. She was deep undercover and had just managed to get someone to “send” her to the speakeasy she was supposed to be investigating. Upon her arrival, Nepeta noticed that the speakeasy was more like a blind tiger. It was run down and the patrons all looked like blue collar workers. All the alcohol was clear and in small glasses. No cocktails and no beer.

Nepeta quickly shifted into what she thought would be an appropriate personality. A small girl like her was already at a disadvantage here, so she put on the face of someone who was grumpy, probably a mean drunk, and just a little bit crazy. Experienced fighters knew that short, skinny opponents were the ones to watch out for. They often came armed and could open your belly before you knew what happened, not to mention the fact that they fought long after most men got the message to stay down. It might not have worked as well on a female human, but female trolls were just as mean as the males, if not meaner. Nepeta stalked over to the bar and threw a dollar on the table.

“Hit me.”

The bartender cocked an eyebrow at her. “What do you want?”

It was a trick question and Nepeta knew it. Places like this didn't have a menu. She looked at him like he was stupid.

“Whatever you have!” She threw up her hands.

The bartender shrugged and poured something from an unlabeled bottle into a shot glass. The second he stopped pouring, Nepeta grabbed the glass, threw her head back and downed it in one go. It was gin, bad quality and watered down. Nepeta gave the bartender a nasty look as she put the glass back down with a click.

“I want something to drink, not something to wash with. Try again.”

“Hey! I paid top dollar for this stuff, you little snot.”

“Then you got ripped off. I've had beer with more kick than this.”

The bartender sniffed the bottle, put it back under the counter and pulled out a different one. He poured again, and again Nepeta put the glass to her mouth and threw her head back.

“Better. Another.”

Again the man poured, and again Nepeta drank.

“Keep 'em coming.”

“Jesus, lady.”

“Relax, I'll sip this one so you can go liquor up the others.”

Nepeta thought back to how she was picked for doing undercover work. When they were first looking for a suitable undercover officer, Chief Ampora made the unorthodox move of bringing in a couple bottles of liquor. He got several officers together, including Sollux, Nepeta, and Equius, and ordered them to drink. None of them liked the idea, but they did what they were told. The idea was to find out who could drink the most without compromising their judgment. Having an undercover officer who couldn't do any drinking while they were undercover would make things very difficult.

To everyone's surprise, Nepeta could still recite tongue twisters after Sollux put forehead down on the table with a moan and threw in the towel. A few glasses later, Nepeta was slurring slightly, but could still walk a straight line. Equius managed to trip over his own feet and broke a chair on the way down. They were all sent home early, and Nepeta was given a promotion when she came back in the station the next day, nearly blind from a hangover. Sollux acted like nothing happened. Equius spent the day getting remarks about being out-drunk by someone a foot shorter than him and half of his weight, while Nepeta locked herself in her office with the lights off and her head buried under a pile of papers. She cursed out anyone who tried to walk in until Equius showed up with bacon, eggs, and coffee.

This uncanny constitution, combined with the large meal that she ate before she walked in, meant that Nepeta could drink enough to plausibly act drunk without being more than buzzed and let bartenders lower their guard.

When the bartender came back, Nepeta's glass was empty again. He filled it, and Nepeta killed it.

“Anything else, lady?”

Nepeta was a wonderful actor. Her eyes were slightly out of focus and her head swayed a bit

“Not unless you have a bottle of jobs under that shtupid counter.” She said, “I losht mine.” Nepeta pointed to her glass. The bartender filled it up.

“Rough luck. How did that happen?”

“Big cheeshe got...grabby.” She held her hand up and curled her fingers a couple time. “I hauled off and punched him inna face. I broke his face and he shent me packing.” She killed her fifth full strength drink and gently lay the glass sideways on the counter.

“No justice.” The bartender shook his head.

“Nope.”

The Bartender looked thoughtful for a minute.

“Say, you want some money? I might have a...business opportunity for you.”

Nepeta narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What kind of...opportunity?”

“I'm going to go to the next town and I need a warm body...”

“I'm not that desperate, you fucking pig.” Nepeta gritted her teeth. She imagined what the look on Equius face would have been if he heard her say that. The bartender put his hands up defensively.

“Woah! Woah! That's not what I meant. I'm going to have words with the guy who sold me that watered down gin and I need one or two people with me to make sure the bastard doesn't try to get rough and to help me move some new barrels.”

Nepeta thought about it. The next town was technically out of her jurisdiction, but she might be able to get some information to send to the police over there. She shrugged.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great, be back here tomorrow at midnight. We'll talk price then.”

“Whatever.”

*

The job was uneventful. Nepeta, the bartender, and one other human rode in a truck for two hours to the next town. Nepeta pretended to sleep for most of the trip, but she listened carefully to the bartender's conversation with the other man in the front seat. She couldn't pick up anything interesting. When they arrived at their destination, the bartender's supplier was nowhere to be found and asking around revealed that he wouldn't be back in until the next morning. He heaved a sigh.

“He's not going to be back until sunrise. You want to head back, or wait?”

“I'll wait” The other human said.

Nepeta shrugged like she didn't care.

“Well, how about we kill some time then? We could go see a fight.”

“There's a boxing match this late?” Nepeta asked with a quizzical look.

“Well, no legal ones, if you catch my drift.”

Nepeta thought for a few seconds. This could be more information that she could pass on later.

“Yeah, sure.”

The three of them got back into the truck and drove through the rows of warehouses, until they came to one that had cars parked around it. They walked up to the door, and the bartender knocked. The panel slid back.

“We're here to see J.D.”

The door opened and the three of them stepped inside. While the bartender was paying for all of them, Nepeta noticed one large troll with curly horns having a conversation with a human over to the side of the room. She saw some money being put in the human's hand.

“Looks like this is going to be an interesting fight.” The bartender whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“That guy he just handed money to was the ref.”

“Uh oh.”

“Yeah. He's a nasty bastard too. Come on, let’s get some good seats.”

The ring was already crowded, and more people were filtering into the audience section. They managed to grab three chairs about halfway to the front. Nepeta looked around and tried to memorize details about where she was. It wasn't long until she heard a voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Our first troll match of the night will start with long time champion, Maximus!”

The troll that Nepeta saw paying off the ref walked out of a side door to many cheers and a few boos and hisses. Nepeta noticed how massive he was. He was covered in scars and his muscles were well defined. He looked like a killer.

“His opponent will be the returning fighter, Mustang!”

Nepeta watched the other troll walk out. Some cheers and more taunting than the other troll. She heard some trolls hissing something about a 'blue blood'. This fighter was huge as well. Nepeta thought that he was about Equius' size. His horns looked like Equius' too. And his face...looked exactly like...

“Oh, holy shit.” Nepeta gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

“What's eating you?” The bartender asked. Nepeta's mind raced. She pointed to Equius.

“What do you know about that guy? Mustang?”

“Not a damn thing. Last time I came here was over a month ago, and he wasn't fighting then.”

A troll sitting in front of the pair overheard them.

“The stinkin' blue-blood? That guy just started a few weeks ago. Lost his first couple fights, but he's been doing good since then.” The troll laughed. “Maximus is going to turn him into mush. Guy's probably going to get carried out in a box.”

Nepeta's face went ashen.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

They both charged out to the center of the cage. Equius threw the first punch. Maximus easily sidestepped it, but Equius brought his other fist around and clipped Maximus in the side of the head. Maximus stumbled, and the crowd booed. Nepeta didn't make a sound and sat stiffly as she watched the spectacle. Maximus curled his hand into a fist and brought it up into Equius' gut. Nepeta winced, but Equius only took a step back to recompose himself.

The match looked like it was pretty even. They were trading about the same number of blows and neither one looked particularly tired after a few minutes. Nepeta was watching carefully, when she saw Maximus' face twist into a sneer. As Equius came in for the next hit, Maximus brought his foot up and drove it into Equius' shin. Equius went tumbling forward, and many of the trolls in the crowd stood up, cheering.

“Hey!” Nepeta heard herself saying. “Illegal shot!” But no-one seemed to have heard her, or cared.

*

Equius tried to make sense of what just happened. His shin hurt, but it mostly just caused him to lose his balance. He waited for the ref to call the fight. Maximus clearly broke the rules.

Nothing happened. Equius started to get back to his feet, but when he was on one knee, two blows caught him in the head. Equius feel down again, head swimming. If Maximus was going to keep pressing him like this, Equius didn't have a chance of winning.

“I yield.” Equius gasped. “You win.”

Maximus grabbed Equius' hair and pulled. Equius winced as he was pulled back up. Equius felt a fist slam into his nose and he fell backwards.

“I yield!” Equius said louder. He tasted blood drip into his mouth.

“Oh no...” Maximus hissed. “No refs are going to help you now. You're not walking out of here, blue-blood. I'm going to put you in the ground.”

Equius was pulled back to his feet once again. He took two blows to the gut and another to the face, making him stumble backwards. Equius grabbed the bars of the cage and tried to support himself, fighting the nausea that was coursing through him. His mind raced. If he didn't start fighting back, he might die in here.

Equius heard Maximus walking up to him from behind. Equius swung hard, bringing his fist around in a wide arc. Maximus had swung at the same time, delivering a brutal uppercut to Equius as Equius slammed his fist into the side of Maximus' head. While Maximus stumbled to the side and landed on his knee, Equius' head jerked back and slammed into the bars of the cage. He felt his horn snap off as his head hit the metal. Equius slumped, dizzy and numb.

“Equius!”

Someone here knew his name? Equius heard the crowd protest and two hands grabbed his shoulders through the bars.

“Equius! Get up! Say something!”

Equius groaned and turned his head to the side. After taking in what he saw, he wondered just how many blows to the head he had gotten.

“Nepeta? What are you doing here?” He groaned.

“Never mind that! You have to get up! The whole thing is rigged! You have to get out of there!”

“Who's that pretty little friend of yours, blue-blood?” Maximus slammed his foot in Equius chest, pressing him into the cold iron bars. He stood over Equius and grabbed the bars over his head, looking at Nepeta. Nepeta slowly made her way to the door of the cage, and Maximus followed her.

“You leave him alone, or I'll make you sorry!” Nepeta yelled up at him.

“Oh, now that's funny! Just for that, you're next, after I deal with blue-boy here. I'm going ruin that cute little baby face of yours.”

The words cut through the fog in Equius' mind like a knife. He was going to hurt Nepeta. He felt his blood pound in his ears. Not from exhaustion this time, but rage. His chest burned as he took in great lungfuls of air. Equius grabbed the bars and hauled himself to his feet.

“So don't you go anywhere until I'm done with...” Maximus was cut off by Equius grabbing his opponent by the arm, twisting his body, and heaving Maximus into the middle of the cage.

“What the fuck was...” Again Maximus was silenced. Equius had hit him with a hook that caused his head to snap to the side. Brown blood sprayed in the air. The crowd went wild. None of them were fond of blue-bloods, but they knew a show when they saw one.

Equius knew that he couldn't give Maximus a chance to regain his momentum. He felt angry and afraid, and he let these feelings push him harder. He knew that he wasn't the only one with something to lose now. He was fighting for something. Someone.

He pressed on with two more hooks to the face, a right-left combination. Maximus desperately brought his hands up to guard his face, so Equius swung low and hit him where trolls keep their liver. Maximus groaned and his hands dropped. He looked nauseous as he stepped backwards and leaned against the bars. Equius mustered all the strength he had left, cocked his arm back, and gave Maximus a final blow to the face, smashing his head against he wall so hard that he felt his shoulder jar out of place. Maxiums slumped to his knees and dropped face-first into the dirt. He didn't even try to get back up.

The crowd all got to their feet, roaring.

“Mustang! Mustang! Mustang!”

Equius panted, sweat and blood dripping off of his face. As the adrenaline wore off, he felt stabbing pain work its way through his arm. He started to get dizzy, and his vision got blurry. Nepeta managed to get the door open and ran to Equius just as he slumped to the ground. She cradled his head against her chest, blue blood soaking into her shirt.

“Equius! It's okay. You're going to be okay.” She said, voice breaking. Equius looked up lazily at her, seeing green tears drip down her face.

“I'm sorry.” Was all he said before he blacked out.

*

Two days later, Nepeta walked into the police station. She called everyone together for an announcement. Sollux briefly wondered why all the announcements seemed to happen around his desk.

“Everyone? I have something to say. Sergeant Zahhak was ... in a bad motorcycle accident over the weekend. He's in the hospital now.” Gasps and murmurs sprang up from the crowd. Sollux looked up at her, genuinely concerned.

“No shit? Is he going to be okay?”

“He's...He won't look the same, but he'll be fine.” she swallowed roughly and turned back to the crowd. “Anyway, please give the Sergeant you well wishes and hope for a speedy recovery. I know some of you don't like the Sergeant much, but I think we can all agree that this place won't be the same without him...”

*

Although Equius was not officially supposed to be back at work, he walked into the station a few days later. He certainly looked like he had been in an accident. He had stitches on his face, a bandage on his nose, his arm was in a sling, and one of his horns was roughly broken off. Sollux looked up as he walked in, and winced.

“Oh wow, that looks like it hurt. What are you doing here? Nepeta is going to flip her tiny lid if she sees you here.”

“I'm well aware of that.” Equius said, “I am just here to pick up some paperwork, and then I am going back to bed. Excuse me.”

Equius made his way to his office and started to flip through some of the papers in his cabinet. He had just found what he was looking for when he heard a voice behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Nepeta snapped angrily. Equius felt his throat tighten.

“I'm...sorry, Nepeta. I am just here to sort out some things, and then you won't see me again."

“Hrm?” Nepeta cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I am sure Chief Ampora will let me have a transfer if I ask him. Then you can...” Equius was cut off as Nepeta buried her head in his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

“Oh, God, Equius, you big idiot, that's not what I meant. I just didn't want to see you out of bed yet.”

“I...I see. Thank you.” He laid a hand on her back. “You do not have to worry. I will...not be going out on weekends anymore.”

Nepeta sighed. “I know that it made you happy, Equius. I want you to do what you need to do to be happy. I hope you can find something else, but if this helps you...I think I can deal with it if you promise me you'll be more careful.”

Equius swallowed. “I...will think about what you said.”

Nepeta let go of him and smiled. Then her face quickly became stern.

“Now go home! Sollux and I can take care of your paperwork. You get some rest. I don't want to see you in here until at least next week, okay?”

“Yes, Nepeta.”

*

It was a month later, in the badly lit and crowded warehouse. Equius was once again standing in his corner of the cage, looking across at the troll he was supposed to be fighting. He’d fought this one before, and he was a difficult and honorable opponent. It would be a good fight for the both of them.

He had tried going back to the gym, hoping that his experience would be enough fighting for one lifetime. But it wasn't enough. He felt the stress of his work week making him testy, the rage building up in him.

It was never enough unless the anger was replaced with the pain and exhaustion of a real fight. Here in the cage, he felt his anger build up. He was angry at the ref, now replaced after the last incident. He was angry at Maximus, who had tried to kill him out of spite. He was angry at the crowd, cheering at his brutal beating when he could have been killed. Most of all, angry at himself, for betraying Nepeta's trust those months before and now, coming back to fight again even though she was sick from worry. He didn't know what else to do. He couldn't think of anything else that gave him that rush. That thrill.

He let rage build in him. Burning in his chest, in his throat, making his arms twitch and is jaw clench.

For a brief moment, he imagined that he was looking at a copy of himself, standing in the opposite corner.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm here to see J.D." is actually a reference to Jack Dempsy, a famous fighter from around this time period.


End file.
